Rusty and I are following along with the 40 days of prayer and fasting in preparation for the 2012 elections. The only thing that is difficult about this is that they post the updates for the day a little late for us, but we've been watching the videos each evening after we finish with the day's work. We enjoy reading the specific prayer points they have for each day because the topics on our prayer calendar are very broad.
Yesterday's prayer topic was on repentance. We were to repent of any personal sins and also repent of sins on behalf of America. I'm not sure I was really seeking to repent of my own sin or to even be able to identify it. After all, it's a lot easier to think I'm rolling along peacefully and at a good place in my life.
While I swim in the mornings, I do a lot of reflecting on the things that God is doing and what He's been teaching me. This morning, He had something He wanted for me to get right. I realized that I had had a pretty stinky attitude about service. We've been studying about servanthood during our Sunday night Bible studies, and I was really enjoying it. I get passionate about it, but at a time when I really want to be a servant I didn't want to be treated like one.
The question of whether or not you are really a servant is determined by how you act when you are treated like one. When someone asked me to give a bit more or to do something extra, I thought don't they know how much I've already done? What about others; what are they doing? But my question should have been, when I think of all He has done for me, is it too much to ask? Unfortunately my bad attitude didn't stop in my thoughts, but it proceeded out of my mouth. Nothing like excusing my bad attitude and infecting someone else by having them listen to me.
After I got things right with God this morning, I was reminded to tell Rusty at lunch that I had had to change my bad attitude. I no longer think that this particular push to do more is a big deal, and hopefully the next time I'm presented with an opportunity to serve I'll do it with a lot more love, humility, and Christ-likeness from the very beginning. And I'm glad that Rusty just listened and encouraged me to do the right thing. Then he reminded me of what we had just prayed for last night. My whole thought process and subsequent repentance is exactly what I had prayed for.
Tonight we prayed for a renewed passion for the reading of God's Word. I've had highs and lows through this one so I know God is going to have to help me. Of course He always has to help. So I'm looking forward to what He's going to continue to do!
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